Standing at 1.68m with relatively non-proportionate body parts With that, I mean – awkwardly long arms and sexily long legs This gives off the illusion of me being much taller than I actually am
Strutting in my heels will go on to cloud everyone’s perception of my height I am thankful for my long limbs and there are many exceptional problems in life that can be easily solved or simply can’t be helped As most things are built for the population with average height
Let me share with you 10 issues that you will only experience if you are tall They are both annoying and comforting
1. Toilet Bowl Issue
Image credits: www.whatevo.com
I’m no T-Rex, we humans have good arm lengths
There’s some toilets I’m really unhappy about, especially the one I use everyday at One Raffles Place
I’m not too particular about toilet design and all but if it’s somewhere that I need to utilize all the time coz I dun have other choices… then yes, I hope there’s a little international standards involved
Firstly, the entire toilet bowl is literally a low hole
You might not be able to tell from the photo above, but it’s really suitable for people with short legs
Blood stop flowing to my feet once I get seated I would be cramping so badly by the time ‘business’ is done
Bearing in mind that the situation was made worse if I’m in heels
Secondly, look at the height of that toilet paper dispenser
the gap between the toilet bowl and the dispenser = the thickness of my thigh
When I’m seated, my awkward arms are unable to find a comfortable angle to reach from the bottom while having to move my thighs to the side
I will also have to make a mental note to not twist my shoulders
2. Walking Issue
If you’re secretly happy that I’m in heels and will be walking slower than before
you’re quite dead wrong
Other than being a fast walker to start with (+ the fact that I’m super experienced with 4 inch stilettos that I can run in them)
You can’t deny that every step I take will be farther than yours
So try to catch up =p
I find myself leaving friends behind all the time
Give me a shout out if you see me getting further away from you
I tend to walk without looking at people too (please dun be upset if you think I didn’t acknowledge you)
It’s just my default bitchface you know~
3. Brolly Issue
I wouldn’t leave you in a lurch if it’s raining
I’ll offer you shelter
As 1st priority, it’s definitely getting myself covered first
If there’s a major height difference
I’m truly sorry that you will be getting most of the rain
On the bright side, it’s still better than being completely drenched right?
4. Table Issue
Always looking poised above the table but….
God knows how hard I’ve been trying to find a comfortable placement for my legs under the table
The most memorable moments of not knowing where to park my legs
will be at those traditional chinese round tables with a huge stem in the middle
commonly found in chinese dining places like Soup Restaurants and Dian Xiao Er
The last time I ate on one of these tables, gave me bruises on my knees!
5. Finding a Plus One Issue
Generally event invites would extend to having a plus one
In order not to deprive me from wearing heels, I would need to find a plus one who doesn’t look like a dwarf beside me
I’m not too concerned about his feelings
but more about my own
I wouldn’t want to be a victim of comparison and end up as a Frankenstein (which brings us to the next point)
I am lucky to have friends like Kwan (above) and Smith
both stands above 1.8m
& I’m in 4.5 inchies!
6. Freaky Friend Issue
Girlfriends around me make me feel gigantic
I’m always this enormous fella hanging out with the normal earthlings
Emotionally, this makes me feel fat/bulky/large/whatever-you-call-it
I have to constantly remind myself that I AM NOT FAT
When attending events, Tiffany gave me specific instructions to stand further away from her
I’m not sure who feels better in this instance
Tiffany? so she won’t look too small?
Me? so I won’t look too huge?
This was also the last time Amanda ever wore flats out with me
People are also always mistaken that I’m the oldest one….
7. MRT Issue
Image credit: http://ufies.org/~aleith/transit/singapore/singapore.html
Those railing handles are meant for taller people to grab and find stability in moving trains
Short people have those metal poles
If everyone was considerate enough to grab what was meant for them, then I will no longer have to
– fight for somewhere to hold on to (tall people have higher center of gravity so I’m always losing my balance)
– get a taste of the armpits after these people raise their hands to go higher places
In contradiction, I also hate the fact that I constantly walk into swinging railing handles
THIS IS NOT FUNNY!
If railing handles were made for taller people
Why are they situated in a position where it’s gonna hit my FACE?!
8. Car Issue
My famous bum has been around too many makes and models to be able to tell you this:
As much as I love fast cars and the orgasmic G force
It’s just painful every single time I get in and out of these cars
– fast cars tend to be much lower to the ground > the bending radius at my knees don’t allow me to slide into the car smoothly
– bucket seats will make the whole experience hell
– having to plan my outfit way in advance to avoid flashing my undies when loading and offloading myself
– apart from the pre existing bruises on my knees that I get from sitting in economy airplane seats & buses, I will get more from hitting my knees on the front pocket
With lower seats in the car, my legs can’t be kept at right angles
I should start turning my attention to SUVs ~
9. Shorts and Skirts Issue
Why are you always in uber short bottoms?
You put the same hot shorts, skirt and dress on other normal earthlings… the clothes will look ok
On me, it’s just exceptionally short
I can’t help it you know!
Ask me this again only if you’re jealous
– Thank you! –
And they are called hot shorts and mini skirts for a damn reason!
10. #Wefie Issue
By default, I’ll always be the one taking the #Wefies
Long arms = better angles
No complaints, just that I’m still trying to find a way to take a selfie where my arms wont be magnified like that!