I have enjoyed selling things online for as long as I can remember
Ever since starting Nailvibe.com in 2009
It’s been 6 good years of a mental compilation of the types of customers I came across & each time my reiteration of the stories would amuse the sh*t out of my friends!
Everyone has advised me to start writing my book on my experiences as a retirement job
I would have immortalized these stories by then…
So, back in 2009 when there was no carousell
There was sprees and blogshops
where people collate orders and make a bulk purchase from an overseas supplier
Those were the days where there were a million questions to be addressed and it’s far worse that what people have hashtaged now in #carouhell
just that there have always been more buyers than sellers in the market
so not that many people experience the ‘hell’ I went through when starting up
Let me proudly present my physical store VIBE @ China Square Central
where conventional shopping eliminates a ton of stupid questions ever asked
As for my online shop @ Nailvibe.com
I wrote a brilliant piece in the FAQ Page only to avoid answering the same doubts and questions
only to realise that people don’t read!
They love to ask questions and have me repeat myself….
In short, I’ve compiled
10 Types of Online Shopping Customers
#1 The No Frills
These are the kind of customers everyone love to have!
But of course, #LifeIsNotABedofRoses
We can’t choose our customers
These people register themselves > put items in shopping carts > checks out > make payment > await for delivery
NO QUESTIONS ASKED
FULLY AUTOMATED & Patient & Reads all required information prior to making their purchases
They also happen to be the same group of customers who are very appreciative and sincere!
#2 The Price Sensitive
You only see them during sale times
They purchase items strictly due to the fact that they are on discount
They will never respond to your new product launches and only appear again when you run a sale
I also have typical conversations with price sensitive people as such:
Customer: “You mention free shipping but why is there a 20 cents charge?”
Me: “oh (if you have read my faq) that is for Certificate of Posting, if you would like to save 20 cents, you can definitely opt out and ignore the 20 cents
Customer: “but you shouldn’t have said free shipping when it’s not entirely free.. there’s still 20 cents…”
Why are you harping on 20 cents?!?!?!!?!?
How is 20 cents going to affect ur life???
What can 20 cents buy you these days???
#3 The One who thinks my Father owns SingPost
– “Hi, please tell the postman to sms me before delivering” –
– “Hi, what if the postman delivers when I’m not home? Can you advise the postman to leave the package at the left shoe rack from my door please? Not the right side one but the left side one. Thanks” –
– “Hi, please make sure the postman delivers before 6pm.” –
Excuse me people, my laopeh is not the owner of SingPost and neither are you paying $60 for courier fees~
#4 The Insecure & Inconsiderate
I’m not sure why are women chatting me up or if I gave them security with 73 messages
such that it’s enough to prove I’m not a bot
I’m a human running an online shop
I will not disappear with your $10
You finally feel safe and secure to send me $10 so you can get ONE bottle of nail polish
#5 The Cancer-Phobic
I get this all the time:
“OMG All your colours are so beautiful!!! I would like to have all of them!!!
oh wait, do they ruin my nails?
do they cause cancer?
Will I die earlier?”
If anyone would die first, it’s gonna be me ok??
I smell & use them so excessively and I’m still alive selling you products, so what do you think?
“ah ok, I think I’d still opt to be safer. My health is more important”
– walks away –
– walks back –
“gosh, they’re so nice. ok I guess I can have just one?”
Beauty comes naturally & if you don’t have it, then
VANITY COMES WITH A COST
#6 The Price Insensitive
Another group of people we all love
These customer stuck on with me for good times and for bad times
I’m very thankful you guys are still on my mailing list!!! and still respond to my mailers such that I know I’m not writing stuff to nobody
They buy what they need
They bring friends, family and colleagues
They tell the whole world how awesome you are!
#7 The Haggler
Once, there was this woman who walked in looking like a million bucks…
“How much discount will you give me if I buy a lot?”
“erm, how many are you looking at?”
seriously?… you had the cheek to ask?
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that your primary school teacher had issues teaching mathematics
#8 The Illiterate
“Hi, how do I register for an account on your site?”
I’m honestly speechless coz the buttons are really obvious, the instructions are all there and there’s also an explanation on FAQ
I’d forgive you if it was back in 1990s where online shopping ain’t common at all
but… but… really?
“I have to pay by ibanking? which bank?”
“I have accounts with all 3 local banks to facilitate your purchase.”
“It’s too troublesome to do ibanking, I’m too lazy to buy”
“ok, I understand that. How about I send you an invoice for credit card payment? All you have to do is to click and make ur payment with your credit card.”
“It’s so troublesome that I have to check my email for it”
#9 The Barcode Sticker Infatuator
Once upon a time, where people are morbidly crazy over OPIs and know no other brands
They got really particular with the stickers on the bottle
People panic when they see products with labels like Picture A
All the products above are genuine by the way
We get bottles with different stickers coz we are not the authorised distributor
We parallel import our bottles so that we can sell you at a fraction of the retail prices
Most people don’t understand this and demand for their bottles to have stickers from all A, B & C
1. you came to me because you want it cheap
2. at the same time, you demand authenticity (ok this I understand)
3. you also want the waranty seal by the side and pay half the price
If nobody told you this theory before, let me educate you now
There’s NO FREE LUNCH & You can’t have the Best of Both Worlds
If those stickers are so important to you, buy them off departmental stores and pay full price then
“I want all the stickers coz the bottles look nicer with them” (#truestory)
Anyway, our products have all the stickers now =p
just reiterating how painful it was in the past to do business with parallel imported products
For all the faith that my customers placed in me, I’m extremely grateful!!
#10 The Virtual Window-Shopper
Virtual satisfaction at its best
Thank you for shopping with us without paying
& therefore you’re not receiving anything
Looking back, I realised I will not be able to stop #carouhell related situations from happening
I’m doing my best to prevent it and also be as nice as possible along the way
Answers are all around you, all you need to do is read~
I will provide advice very happily if I know you can’t find it anywhere else~